Becoming a mom was the biggest achievement I’ve made in this lifetime. Greyson has brought so much to our family and I am in awe of him almost every single day. Even at three, which happens to be our most challenging year yet, I can’t believe I am so lucky to have a kid like him. With that being said, our road to finally holding him wasn’t so effortless.
Parenthood for us first began with heartbreak. Our first pregnancy wouldn’t last and I still remember that feeling of extreme sadness and disappointment. A feeling that somehow I had failed at being a woman. But it would only take time, patience, and faith that one day God would bless us with a baby of our own. That kind of waiting can be torturous; especially in the face of our closest friends or family excitedly announcing their pregnancies one after the other and wondering when we would get the chance to do the same.
Thankfully we wouldn’t have to wait much longer, but experiencing pregnancy after a miscarriage brings its own unique brand of anxiety. The feeling of walking on eggshells or not getting too excited because of the fear that it wouldn’t last. But, what I’ve found out over the years since we welcomed Grey is that sense of anxiety and fear never truly goes away. If anything, it just continues to linger and grow as our child grows. New fears take the place of old ones. But, the true strength of a mother is choosing the joy in spite of those fears and to make the choice to experience life as it unfolds rather than to live in the fear that can cripple us.
Mother’s Day has arrived once more and it’s a stark reminder of the women I am so proud of. The strong women in my life that even in the ways they grieve, they still manage to smile, congratulate, or support the other women and mothers in their lives. It’s these women who either have experienced great loss, who have strained relationships with their mothers, or don’t have the luxury of having a mother figure in their lives. Although I am grateful for a day to recognize the dedication and hard work mothers pour into their families day in and day out, today is a special day to lift up the fellow mamas out there who may be silently in pain.
Today is for you.
I appreciate all of you because you’ve demonstrated the truest form of the word strength. And it’s that kind of strength that can overcome anything.